the best thing about having the house to myself is that I can make breakfast in my underwear
give me 4 years ill be hot
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?Yup
•start at one corner
•find something from 5 years ago and stare at it nostalgically for 10 hours
•go to bed
a guy at school today was wearing this damn fine red nail polish and I heard these two girls whispering angrily and looking in his direction so I listened in expecting them to be weird about it and the first thing I hear is “how the HELL did he get it so good did he get it professionally done or something you need to ask him where he found that colour jesus fucking christ are you KIDDING me”
I think this is a good example of how the world should work.
I’m an adult, but not like a real adult
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